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另外,开始一句话是不完整句子(sentence fragment),犯了一个语法大忌。
第二个句子划线部分是插入语,表附加细节;
4分作文: Some people would say that something that is not successful does not have any value. I would have to disagree with this statement. Sometimes, things that are not successful still have some value. For example, the Columbia space shuttle and the Vietnam War were not successful, but they had value. Thus, it is true that something not successful can still have value. For instance, the Columbia disaster. Columbia was destroyed in an accident when the shuttle tried to re-enter the atmosphere. This accident was a horrible failure and many people were very upset by it. The value, though, comes from the new way in which we now look at things. Because of Columbia, the space program now know what is wrong. Hopefully, they will change it. Vietnam is also an example of something not successful. We went to Vietnam in an attempt to get rid of communists. Thewar went on for a while, but we were not able to win. Many soldiers were killed and the public were very angry about the whole thing. Soon there were many protests across the country and college students especially became active against the war. By the time the war was ended the people were very upset with their country. These two examples show that something not successful can still have value. As we have seen, both Columbia and the Vietnam War were not successful. Yet, we got something of value out of them. 【点评】 开始段落把中心观点讲出来了,并且也有thesis statement。
If your essay does not reflect your original and individual work, your test scores may be canceled.
develops a point of view on the issue, demonstrating some critical thinking, but may do so inconsistently or use inadequate examples, reasons, or other evidence to support its position
中文的作文喜欢以“理”服人,但西方的惯例是让事实说话,所谓的Facts are more eloquent than lips(事实胜于雄辩)。
2. For two hours是强调句式,放在句首表强调;
第三段举了莎士比亚的例子,作者认为莎士比亚虽然创作了许多英雄的形象,但他自己不能被称为英雄,因为我们对他本人还是了解很少的。作者在这里提出了当代文学家一直在争论的一个话题,就是莎士比亚到底是不是那些伟大作品的真正作者。
但是,我们还是建议考生在正式考试时要么选A,要么选B,这种写法难度相对小些,而把A和B综合的写法对写作者的要求自然要高些,弄不好写到最后连自己到底要表达什么观点都弄不清楚了。
Hearing a number of interesting stories, we thoroughly enjoyed our visit.[√]
比如有一篇老托福的作文题,问的是在家吃好还是在外面吃好?
【点评】
希望同学们仔细阅读欣赏这10篇经典范文,从中学习它们的长处,对照自己的习作,找到自己的短处,在今后的SAT写作中不断提高自己的写作技巧和水平,力争考试时获得5分以上的成绩。
5分作文:
但是,文章的核心还是要侧重于在失事后美国有关方面是怎么样处理这件事的,怎么样进行深刻反思的,做了哪些事来检讨自己的工作,从中得到了什么样的教训等等。
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